Friday 17th

It was so nice to get away... I actually felt genuinely okay for the first time since October. 

Back to reality though, yesterday was absolutely hell at work. We're forecasting lfl decline so we have bare minimum staff yet we did £700 over forecast. This basically means we got our asses handed to us and I slept 10 hours to recover.

It's day like these I really miss talking to my ex... I really, really wanted to call him last night, just to vent but I know he doesn't want to hear from me and I've finally gone a few days without contacting him (a sad thing to be proud of, I know). 

I have a date on Sunday though, this one's a bit different because it's with a guy I've been talking with for a while now and I actually kind of like him. He knows I'm still in love with my ex and I've explicitly told him nothing physical would happen yet he's still really keen to take me out. Who knows, maybe he thinks there's a chance despite everything just like how I feel...

Let's just hope it all works out. I just want my love for my ex to go somewhere because right now I have no where to put it. My friend in Belgium asked me why I don't just hate him. I wish I could hate him but loving him is painful enough.